Thursday, January 31, 2013

What now?

I have four submissions floating about. There are two short stories that were written for anthologies, a  flash fiction piece for a magazine, and my first little book! I assumed there would be a feeling of relief after sending my work off, but I am finding myself in panic mode. My gosh, I am flipping the heck out, especially when I think about it RIGHT NOW!

For the most part, life is busy, so my worst times of anxiety occur once the kiddos are put to bed. I am left to myself with nothing to do. THAT is when I feel like I am going to cry my eyeballs out. But why?? What in the world is this funky feeling all about?

The waiting game feels like an audition. I spend tons of my time finding the perfect musical numbers or monologues to present, I rehearse until I can sing or recite my work in my sleep, I give my all on the stage (or I totally crash. Lol!), then I walk away wanting to chew my fingernails down. I know. I'm pretty silly.

Rejection hurts more than the waiting, really. Crazy, isn't it? I would rather keep waiting, because I at least know there is a bit of hope. Once there is the call or an email that delivers the bad news, I have to go in my corner and lick my wounds. Lol. Yes, yes. I am a BIG, emotional baby. It's ok, though. I don't mind being a softy. That's just who I am. Eventually I dust myself off and see what else I can get into. I guess I'll behave the same way when it comes to being an author. We'll just have to see.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the stage! Gigs make life worthwhile for me. I love watching everyone else around me have fun. That's what it is all about. So who knows? While I might be on edge about becoming published, I bet someone else is having their own struggles. If by chance that individual comes out and watches me perform, I hope to give him or her something to dance about for just a little while.  :-)



Thursday, January 17, 2013

Focusing...

I assumed that I had the writing thing figured out. Ok, maybe not completely, but I thought the basics were already known to me. WRONG. Lol!

Thanks to a less busy schedule, I have been reading novels and finding sites that teach about writing. This morning's discovery has helped me immensely. For the first time, I was able to fully understand the ins and outs of POV and head hopping. I'm sure I have quite a ways to go, but my writing has improved in a matter of hours. I am currently going through the short stories I want to submit, and correcting MAJOR issues. Ouch! It hurts to look at some of my cringeworthy tales. My newbie skills are screaming through the pages. hahaha! That's good though, isn't it? I can never grow if I am unable to see my faults.

From this point on, I know what to look for. I know how to focus my energy on one character at a time. Given a few more months of writing, I hope my work will create better stories!

Soon I will have a little masterpiece of my own. I type this, wishing I could cross my fingers.  :-)


erotic short....

From the moment she had received Corey's steamy email, Dina could not concentrate on her duties at the office. All she could think of was his promise of an erotic evening. Excited about seeing him again, Dina went along with the day, following her typical routine and hoping that time would hurry by. The mere thought of Corey's kisses sent her mind racing, causing her body to heat up and tingle from her inner core. 

Fortunately, Dina's workload was moderate, helping the day speed by in a blur. As soon as the clock signaled her job's finishing hour, Dina walked briskly down the office hallway, anticipating an evening of raw, passionate lovemaking. Corey's home was a short drive from her place of employment, a distance Dina had traveled many a night. Within a reasonable amount of time, she pulled up to his house, skipped the stairs to his porch, and knocked to announce her arrival.

"I'm glad you could make it," Corey said, as he opened his front door. 

He immediately pulled Dina into an embrace and placed a trail of kisses along her jawline. Pushing Corey into his house, Dina began to tug at his shirt, lifting it above his head before he could close his door. Corey kicked the door shut, grabbed her hand, and led her into his living room. 

"Take those clothes off," his deep voice commanded.

Dina stepped away from Corey, giving him a devilish grin. She slowly unbuttoned her blouse, letting it fall to the floor. Her small, firm breasts were covered in a black, lacy bra. Dina used her right hand to unfasten the back of her skirt, wriggling her hips to help the garment slide down to her feet. She stepped out of the skirt, keeping the tall heels on. Corey's smoldering gaze lingered at her midsection, eyeing the skimpy thong that barely hid her cleanly shaven mound.

Dina walked toward Corey, who had undressed and sat waiting on the sofa. Once she straddled his lap, he pulled her face to his, cupping her chin with his massive, strong hands. Corey's mouth was demanding, claiming hers with an urgency that made her lose every bit of her sanity. 

"Mmm," Dina hummed, enjoying the taste of his tongue.

She slowly rocked her body against his thick, concrete hardened dick. Moisture from her pussy seeped through the thin material of her panties, making Corey's cock slick and hot. He reached up, placing his hands behind her back to unhook her bra. The cool air met Dina's breasts, mingling with her arousal and prompting her nipples to harden. Corey seized an engorged, sensitive pebble, quickly drawing it into his mouth, lapping at the firm tip. Shudders surged through Dina. Her head rolled back, thrashing from one side to the other. Every inch of her body was on fire, electrified by the pleasure Corey was inducing. 

"I need you. Now, baby," she panted.

With his lips still attached to her breast, Corey slid her wet thong to one side. Dina raised her gyrating hips, then gingerly lowered herself onto his long, throbbing shaft. She listened to the sound of his breath quickening. He sat back, too aroused to continue his mouth's exploration of her upper body.

"That's it, honey. Fuck your dick," he urged.

Dina let her hips grind into his pelvis. She rocked back and forth, tilting her pussy forward, as she moved against Corey's well muscled form. Placing her hands on his expansive chest for leverage, Dina picked up speed. She bucked on top of him, riding his swollen cock in a wild frenzy. The tension of an explosive orgasm began to build, pushing Dina over the top. She cried out with a hoarse voice.

"Oh shit, Corey! I'm coming!"

His hands grabbed her plump ass, pulling her roughly into him, synchronizing his tugs with each grind of Dina's hip movements. The added pressure was too much for Corey to handle. His legs stiffened and the faint trembling of his thighs signaled his impending climax. Corey thrust his hips upward, burying his dick deep into her tight, slippery pussy. 

"Here it is, sweetie," he groaned.

Cum was released into her womb like hot lava, sending a final flurry of sensations through both of them before they collapsed onto the sofa. Dina whimpered against Corey's chest, taking deep breaths in an attempt to slow her highly accelerated heartbeat. Thoroughly satisfied, she planted a kiss on her boyfriend's forehead.

"Damn, baby," he breathed, wrapping his arms around Dina. He held her firmly, relaxing in her body's warmth.

"You should send sexy messages to me more often," she said, looking down into her lover's eyes.

"Indeed," was all Corey could utter.





Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wrap it up!


My darn head, that is. Lol! The weather is REALLY cold now, so I'm running around with all sorts of head wraps. I used a dandy t-shirt for this particular head piece. Cool, huh?

Anyhow, writing has been going well. I'm pleased to say that I'm at the halfway mark of my first novel. Yay!!! It's weird. I try to put time aside to write something every day. That goes well, but there are times when I CANNOT stop writing! That's a good thing, though. I'll have tons of ideas that are crowding my mind. I'm hoping I have plenty more days like the past few!

Things have slowed down on the home front, with my show being in production. Now I don't have to spend my life at the theatre. Lol. I'll simply show up on Fridays and Saturdays to perform for the next five weeks. That's a HUGE plus! Also, my kids are settling into their homeschool co op's schedule. My oldest seems to have the most homework assigned from his teachers, but he is excited to be around his little buddies again. The music classes that I am teaching are fun. I have one child who is a bit rowdy, but he's super cute. I think he'll simmer down soon. I think I have a way with the little ones.  :-)

My gosh. One of these days I'm hoping to have news of a published piece (fingers crossed!). Until then, all I can do is write, write, and write some more. Have a wonderful week, everyone. Lots of love to ya!

Monday, January 7, 2013

First Monday of 2013!

I love new beginnings, and I am excited to start this week on a full schedule. Sure, it might be a bit on the overwhelming side, but there is nothing I would change.

I was able to get some reading done this past weekend. I enjoyed looking at a few blogs and I also set time aside to read a few short ebooks. It helps me to see what other people are writing, especially when they have been in the business for quite some time. It keeps me on track and motivates me to keep pushing along. So far, I am enjoying the ups and downs of writing my novel. Every new issue that has been a lesson I can learn from. When will I finish? I'm not sure. I haven't given myself a deadline. I wonder if that is necessary. Hmm. That's something to think about.

My children are homeschooled, and attend a co op every Friday. It is a pretty nice group of students (a little over 250), and the little ones love having friends to hang with on a weekly basis. Christmas break was torture for them. They kept asking when they would return to "school". Boy, am I relieved that their request has been granted. Our new quarter starts this Friday! Yay! To add to the excitement, I chose to teach two music classes. I have a 5-7 year old group, and an older group of kiddos (8-10). I assumed my twins would want to be in my class, but I was wrong. Lol. They each approached me to let me know that they would rather be in another teacher's class during my time period. Love it!!! 

At one point, the twins were shy. Unlike their older brother, they each had a ready made playmate. I had a difficult time when it came to getting them to interact with other children. I would take them to places like the park, family get togethers, or church, and they never wanted to play with other children. They would stay to themselves and were content living in their own world. As long as they saw me nearby, my twins felt like they had everything they needed. When we started this homeschool co op, they refused to be separated. I still can't get them to attend separate classes, but at least they are making their own friends. FINALLY!!! 

My oldest is a charmer. He is a natural born leader, who is always chosen as team captain of whatever he is involved with. I find that funny, being that he works as a drummer, but oh well. I think it's hilarious to watch him shout out encouragement to his friends, who don't mind that he is more musical than athletic!

Besides starting a new quarter in co op, the production I am in opens Friday evening!!! Yes, I am a BIG ball of nerves! I still have yet to be completely off book. I was added to the ensemble much later in the rehearsal schedule. So everyone else has had a month of study, compared to my two weeks. Talk about pressure.  :-/   It seems to be alright, though. We rehearse every night this week until our performance date. I am confident that I will be ready for it. Fingers crossed....






Friday, January 4, 2013

My glass of wine....



Tracing your lower lip with your tongue, you seek to taste my essence. My touch teases you, sending a sensual current of warmth throughout your being. Eager to further indulge your craving, I draw you closer into my embrace. Whispering your name, I request that you release your inhibitions, forgetting the world around us. You sip from my well, anticipating the dizzying effects of my power. Then it begins.

We are joined, a union of desires that burn as one flame. Together we move, rising and falling against each other. I go deeper, not wanting to leave any part of your body untouched, as a frenzy of passion overtakes our souls. The intensity of your voice echoes in the darkness, holding me captive as it repeatedly calls out from some mysterious place we have both traveled before. Our rhythm quickens as we ride toward our glorious destiny.

Then time stands still. You are high, floating from reality to a paradise of pleasure, savoring every moment of bliss before you fall into a peaceful slumber. I leave you to rest alone, knowing that my appetite for another seduction is on the rise. Although you are fully aware of this, you refuse to let me walk away, because I am your weakness, a temptation that you will never cease to desire.

I will always come back for you.

You're writing WHAT?! (gasp!!!)

 "Porn books?"( umm.....really?)

"Why don't you write about your life story instead?"

"You don't have to talk about that kind of stuff..."

"What will everyone think?"

Those are just a few of the questions I was asked yesterday evening. Was I bothered by the conversation? Not really. It is what it is. I have always walked to my own beat, which is why I find my life to be so interesting. Had I ever taken advice from those around me, I would have always lived a straight laced existence, which is boring in my opinion. Lol.

For every bad comment, I must say I hear a good one. Thanks to modern technology, I am constantly meeting people who share similar interests, support my endeavors, and have no problems embracing differences. It seems to me as though these newly met friends will be a tad more supportive than some of those closest to me. Now isn't that a shame?

Some of our journeys in life must be traveled alone. There will always be naysayers who will try to interfere, but it is up to us to remain inspired and eager to follow our own paths. Remember that the negativity is just as important as the positive influences. Eventually, you will become stronger because you learned to endure the hardships along the way.













Wednesday, January 2, 2013

late night thoughts...

Check out that curvy woman on the right.  :-)

I have worked as a singer/actor for the past 11 years. Currently, I'm rehearsing for a theatrical production that opens in two weeks. Besides entertaining, I am ALWAYS busy chasing after my family. We have three angels (one big boy and a boy/girl set of twins!).

As much as I love performing, I'm even more excited to see where writing will take me! As an entertainer, I am always taking direction, doing my best to make an entire company look good. When it comes to writing, I'M the boss! Everything that I do is based on my desires. It thrills me to think of this, but intimidates me at the same time.

So why is that such a scary thought? I can tell you why. For the first time, I will be seen for who I am, and not as a part of a unit. That means my success or failure will be solely based on what I deliver. I will be giving a part of myself away, and my thoughts will be put on display for everyone to see. That's huge!

Thanks to years of countless auditions, I know what is ahead of me. There will be plenty of times when I will hear "no". After submitting my work, I'll have those familiar questions racing through my mind. Will they like what I gave them? When will I hear from them? Will it be a yes or a no? Then there will be the days where I have to recover from rejection. Gosh. The very thought of starting on this unfamiliar path makes me cringe, but I have to pursue it. The challenge is what keeps me motivated.

So here's to chasing dreams!!! I hope all of you are doing the same.

















His private dancer....



He first appeared three months ago, keeping a distance and watching me from the back of the dimly lit club. His subtle cues signified that I was the one he was interested in. First, he would stand when I walked out onto the stage. Once we made eye contact, he would take his seat and lean forward, watching my moves with great intensity. Nobody else mattered. I was instantly drawn to this handsome stranger, dancing wholeheartedly for his eyes only.

A month into his routine visits, my special guest made his move. I was standing center stage, slowly peeling a burgundy, fitted dress away from my body. Letting the dress fall to the floor, I glided forward, topless, wearing a black lace thong and matching colored stilettos. With eyes on him, I lowered myself to the floor and crawled to the platform's edge. As I moved forward, he stood up and walked to the front of the lounge. He stopped before me, tucked a folded note into my g-string, and turned to walk away. The brief contact from his hands caused a chill to course through my lower region. I slowly rose from the floor and called in his direction.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home. I'd rather see you behind closed doors," he replied.

The sultry timbre in his voice was smooth and calm, but aggressive enough to pique my curiosity. He didn't stay long enough for me to ask his name. As he was walking away, the stranger glanced over his shoulder, gave a slight wave toward the stage, then headed for the exit. I continued my dance of seduction, swaying provocatively in front of my audience, and wondering about the note that was pressed against my side....









     

New to the fold.....

Hello! I'd like to start off by wishing the world a Happy New Year! Yay! I am an aspiring erotic fiction author. My resolution for 2013 is to become published! I guess that won't be so hard, will it? Um.......will it? Lol. I tend to look at things from a positive perspective, hoping that my diligence, persistence, and studying will eventually pay off. I know that things will take off slowly, being that I'm a newbie, but that is ok. I am HERE, I am WILLING to chase my dream, and I am READY for this new journey in my life. Here's to a new year, a new goal, and a new adventure!